Friday, August 15, 2008

Things Fundi's Say - "Friendly" letters

My Grandma took the time to write me again. I don't know if I'll write back. Last time, I just wrote a letter without any religious references. Never heard back, for a long while (several months, maybe over a year), then I got this today.

There is a tall, very handsome and extremely intelligent young man, who lingers in my memory.

[My Full Name Deleted]

I can still see those very talented hands on the piano keys, playing beautiful melodies. [Hymns] Where did he get this talent?

Psalm 139 - in a fear inspiring way you were wonderfully made.

verse 16 - your eyes (Jehovah's) saw your embryo and in His book - it's parts were down in writing.

Jehovah has a book - Malachi 3:16
a book of Remembrance

I know you are in it. You were so faithful - lovingly serving Him.

[Name deleted], your mom was just here for a visit and she is heart broken because she can't seem to get through this armor you have enclosed yourself with. Is this corrupt old world so important to you that you shut her out? She gave you life.

Your [Last name deleted] grandmother will be back in the resurrection John 5:28,29. The Kingdom has been established. Psalm 26 - Revelation 12:10

The new heavens are established - now has come the salvation of our God and the authority of His [eligible]. This old world is passing away.

1 John 2:15 - 17

Don't you want to live forever?

I don't know what your thoughts are - but you know there is one God - the Father - the Creator. You can't put that away. He reads your heart. He has blessed you in many ways. Count them!

Make your mind over - Ephesians 4:22-24 verse 10 Keep on making sure of what is acceptable to the lord.

Satan is on his way out - no more will he be able to turn people away from the true Creator. It won't be long until he is crushed. Romans 16:20

Please write to a 90 year old grandmother who loves you very much.


I didn't need this shit this morning. Went to work, can't get it out of my head. Why did I even bother opening it?


Keith Sader said...

Let me help with the reply. Engage full snark mode:

Hi Grandma! I just knew that by opening this letter it would be like pouring lemon juice into a paper cut. So let me start off by thanking you for that and by thanking you that you can't see beyond your tiny worldview to embrace the person I am vs. the figment of your imagination. I have a question: Is the person you remember shy, full of neurosis, and always grappling with his own self-loathing? That's the person I was. I'm none of those things now. Would you I rather be the former - again?

As far as the piano goes, I don't remember Jehovah being there for one instant while I practiced my fingers, eyes, back, and ears off to perfect my craft. If he was there, then tell him he was a lousy assistant because I'm sure I could have made much better progress with some miracle juice instead of long hours of practice. Apparently that bit of my life escapes your memory too.

You keep quoting this book to me. I do not think it means what you think it means. See 2 Kings 2:23 to start. Can I still kill children if they mock me for being hairy?

So, thanks for the letter and for bringing up old wounds. Next time, just mail me a dead skunk, I'll at least be able to refuse delivery on it.

Nuke said...

Dude, sorry...

I'd like to say it would be best to tell Gramma and the rest of em to eff off if they can't respect the choices you have made for your life. But it sounds like you still care about them, and such drastic action probably wouldn't make you feel better.

I can say you seem to be a good guy, and I don't hear you saying that you are trying to make THEM give up their beliefs. So I believe that them attacking yours is uncalled for.

Tell Gramma that you love her but that if she continues to harangue you, you can't correspond with her any more.