Observations on bars and parties

I've been to several types of parties and bars with varying levels of boredom and insanity. Too date, I don't think I've hit the "rock band" level of insanity, but I've been at a few where I feared... After a few though, I've realized that the vast majority of party goers and drunks can be grouped rather well:

1. Baby Jesus Girl/Guy - One does not often find this type at a real party. In general, they are too busy criticising gays or reading and feeling smug about themselves to join up. When they do, you can expect them to attempt to be the 'reasonable' person, and give evil glances to anyone currently holding a drink. If one is lucky enough to pull them out of their natural habitat though and even luckier in seeing them try "just one drink", they can immediately turn into the most perverted and funny drunks on the planet. Sadly, the Baby Jesus person is often averse to any alcohol or drugs.

2. "My friends are coming" guy - This is the guy that boasts to other guys that "friends are coming". Generally seen making multiple conversations on the phone, that will NOT result in new party goers. "Friends are coming" guy will repeatedly inform fellow party guests of attractive female future party goers. In reality, the best case scenario is his sister showing up with a couple of friends to ask him for cash and then leave for a better party.

3. Horny Slut and Three Beer Queer - Both will offer you sex, but you don't likely want either. The Horny Slut is seen more often in movies than real life (see 40 year old virgin). Be warned: the horny slut may seem like a hookup, but will likely pass out before 2nd base from the consumption levels of alcohol which created her. The close relative of horny slut, is the three beer queer. Note: three beer queer is often a transformed Baby Jesus Guy, who will return to his former self after the beer is gone. A real hookup opportunity, if you don't mind the whole "queer" aspect.

4. Zombie Drunk - zombie drunk appears most often in bars and parties lasting into early morning. Zombie drunk is easily recognized by the vacant stare into space and limited ability to stand and walk. The Zombie drunk will not talk much, except to say to an occasionally passerby "Buddddd", which in his own limited vocabulary means any beer type drink. (Understand, beer is too difficult a word for zombie drunk.)

5. Mad Douchebag - The result of adding alcohol to a douchebag. The mad douchebag has 2 major characteristics - 1. he is a douchebag. 2. he wants to fight you. Like dogs, mad douchebags come in several breeds. Two of the most popular are the Frat Boy - far too worried about his face and hair to fight sober, the frat boy is mostly harmless, and The Wannabe Player - generally a self-branded pickup-up-artist who's efforts result in rather humurous epic fails.

Of course, there are multiple other groups to categorize and study. The field remains open for more research, provided the right funding and environment. Of particular interest to me now are "people watcher" and "annoyed bartender".

Not Drinking the Kool-Aid

Of all the things I am grateful for, free-will is often the thing easiest taken for granted. Sadly, a great many people allow their will to be removed under the guise of religious doctrines. 30 years ago this week, the events of Jonestown grotesquely illustrated the potential results of such misplaced trust.

People my age did not see Jonestown coverage. We haphazardly use the phrase "drinking the Kool-Aid" to refer to partisan thinking. Frankly, I don't think most people in my generation could tell you where the whole Kool-Aid reference originated. Which, when you think about it, is fairly amazing considering:

In the United States, Jonestown resulted in the largest death-toll of a non-natural disaster since the events of September 11. Over 900 people dead, near 300 of them children, and many held against their will.

The activities of religion are often glazed over from criticism under the moniker of "religious freedom". The faithful are given a pass from public ridicule because they have a right to their faith.


I'm not here to say that people don't have a right to their faith. To forbid someone their personal beliefs is removing one of the most basic human rights. The thing is, freedom of speech is another basic human right. And it doesn't violate your freedom of religion for me to point to the picture above, and state - the blood of those children lies on the hands of your religion.

As a society, we can not afford to give religion a pass from criticism. We can not afford to outlaw people standing and telling the truth about damage caused by the radical religious elements in our society. Lately, Christian conservatives as well as liberal 'tolerance preachers' seem to be missing the point.

If I go home, light candles, pray to Quetzalcoatl, cast spells, and then kiss a cross - well, that's my business. I have the freedom to believe whatever I want to believe. Further, I have every right to sit at a park bench, read my bible, head to a church and pray, and lead a group of friends in prayer. The serious atheist groups might call these things stupid, but you still have a right to do them. Your rights, however, end the second you start attempting to force people to live by the precepts of your religion. And further, your rights don't include some sort of "hurt feelings" clause that negates freedom of speech.

I find it amazing to hear criticism leveled at faith groups as "persecution". To be clear, this


is persecution. Engaging in rational debate is not persecution. Gays making out in public or getting married is not persecution. Wearing a pentacle is not persecution. Burning someone alive because they believe differently is. Forcing a person out of town because they practice witch-craft is.

Cult-like groups are not always far-off crazies that commit mass suicide. Many Jehovah's Witnesses have died by refusing blood transfusions. Young girls in areas of the south are being forced into sexual slavery in their preteen and early teenage years. Honor killings, apostasy trials, and witch lynchings still happen in multiple portions of the world.

To refuse to address and challenge those that would support such things in our daily life, to refuse to educate the public around you as to the dangers radical groups create, or to refuse victims the right to speak out is to tacitly aid these groups in their wrong-doing.

So, before drinking the Kool-Aid and mocking groups like Anonymous for picketing and marching, or refusing to voice your opinion on Evangelical Christian legislation, I urge you to remember Jonestown, and think about the power of ideas.

Disturbing Thought for the Week

Ever notice that "Good News" usually means you're going to hell?

My Top 10 Villians

So, I was thinking about it the other day, and decided to chronicle my favorite movie villains. Mostly because I'm curious right now what makes someone a good villain in a story. Here's the list I came up with:

• Margaret Hamilton - The Wicked Witch (Wizard of Oz)
• Arnold Schwarzenegger - The Terminator - The Terminator
• Anthony Hopkins- Hannibal Lecter - Silence of the Lambs
• David Prowse & James Earl Jones - Darth Vader - Star Wars
• Jack Nicholson - Jack Torrance - The Shining
• Javier Bardem - Anton - No Country For Old Men
• (Multiple Individuals) - alien - The Alien
• Heath Ledger - Joker - Batman
• Keven Spacey - John Doe - Se7en
• Antonio Salieri - Murray Abraham - Amadeus

Looking at the list, I'm still not entirely sure what makes a great villain. Each of these went to a different place for me. In general, the best villains seem to be almost a force of nature, but some of the masterful ones are simply people doing very inhuman things for human reasons.

Book Meme

"Mr. Quincy P Morris found me alone" - Bram Stoker, Dracula

From planet gnome:

• Grab the nearest book.
• Open it to page 56.
• Find the fifth sentence.
• Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
• Don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST

I tag anyone interested. :)

Disturbing Thought for the Week

What exactly are you saying if you give a terminally ill patient a 'get well soon' card?

Disturbing Thought for the Week

According to American Society of Microbiology studies on people using public bathrooms, while 97% of females and 92% of males say they wash their hands, only 75% females and 58% males actually do.